I used to think the worst possible shopping experience was trying on swimsuits. What could be more painful than an afternoon spent squeezing into various sizes of Lycra under lights so bright that they reveal every guilty pleasure I had consumed over the winter? I’ll tell you what’s worse: buying a swimsuit for your 10-year-old daughter.

Apparently swimsuit manufacturers think 10 is the new 25. On a recent shopping excursion with my daughter, our choices included French-cut legs, plunging necklines and padded bras. My little girl was one high heel away from being able to pose in a Victoria’s Secret catalog. We went to three different local stores only to find the same options. By the third store something really awful happened.

There we were, squeezed into the dressing room with our pile of possible suits. Gabrielle asked me not to look as she shyly changed into each one. “OK. You can open your eyes now, Mom,” she said. I looked up to see her in yet another streetwalker-cut suit, but something was different about her. This time she was posing for me with her hands on her hips, one hip swinging to the side, her chin was down and her lips protruded in a pretentious pout. One afternoon. That’s all it had taken for her to adapt to the clothing’s message. We walked out of the store without the suit but she had left more than that behind.

As a counselor, I’m deeply disturbed by the negative effects I see when girls are sexualized so early. As a mother, I’m desperate to stop it. While not impossible, the reality is, it’s an uphill battle. I attended a seminar led by Dr. Laura Choate, author of Girls’ and Womens’ Wellness in which she said the trend of “age compression” is here to stay. “Marketers are aiming mature material at younger girls,” she explained. “The target age for Seventeen Magazine is a 12-year-old.”

Newsweek reported on the use of cosmetics by young girls in an article called “Generation Diva.” According to market-research firm Experian, 43 percent of 6- to 9-year-olds are already using lipstick or lip gloss; 38 percent use hairstyling products and 12 percent use cosmetics.

This fall, Nickelodeon and toymaker Mattel will unveil the new Tween Dora the Explorer doll. So far, they’ve offered up a silhouette version of what she’ll look like. The companies vow the mature version will not undermine the wholesomeness of the educational bilingual star that has a sidekick monkey, map, compass and backpack.

Forgive my skepticism when Mattel is the same company that owns the rights to Bratz Dolls and Lingerie Barbie. Nickelodeon OK’d the use of SpongeBob in a suggestive "squarebutt'' commercial for Burger King that juxtaposes the children's character with sexy gyrating women.

So where does a desperate mom start? For me, it was in that dressing room. I asked my daughter why she was making that pose, that sexy pose. Yes, it was hard for me to say. No doubt she was mortified I was bringing this up in a public dressing room. Yet, it allowed us to have a conversation about letting outside influences determine how we behave. So, I must also start in my own dressing room. I’ve become conscious of how those outside influences have affected my perceptions and the harsh way I sometimes judge my body. Truly, our bodies are amazing. Not for how they look on the outside but for what they allow us to do and experience. That’s the message I’m marketing.

Eventually, my daughter found a swimsuit that we could both agree on. It’s brightly colored and modest enough to let her jump, swim and run around without feeling self-conscious. That’s sounds just about right for a girl her age.

Susan Fee resides in Sagamore Hills where she is a licensed professional counselor and author. Learn more about her workshops, products and services at www.susanfee.com.