Ten Fun Things to Do
Inexpensive and Easy Summer Fun for the Family
In today’s economy, families are watching every penny. That doesn’t mean family fun has to end. Here are some great family-friendly outings that will get parents and their kids outside and moving this spring and summer — without breaking the bank. Families can take advantage of the warm weather and these 10 fun activities that will cost them little or no money at all:
Take a Trip to the Farmers’ Market. Farmers’ markets are unexpected family-oriented places that offer great stimulation for children. They present a fun learning opportunity where kids can experience various colors, shapes, sounds and smells. Kids can touch and taste. And there are plenty of freebies, which means mom and dad don’t always have to buy.
Do a Little Gardening. This is an inexpensive way to teach your kids about nature. Buy a packet of seeds from a local hardware store or gather some leftover seeds from the fruits and vegetables you bring home from the market. Kids can plant flowers, fruits or vegetables in your backyard garden, a flower pot or a widow box and watch them grow.
Visit the Schoolyard or Playground. Head to an elementary school playground outside of school hours, or any local park or playground. When your kids have tired of the swings and jungle gym, go for a walk or take a bike ride.
Go on a Picnic. Pack up some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and juice boxes and spread out a blanket at a nearby park. Meet up with other moms and dads and their kids. Feed the birds or ducks day-old bread. You can even bring the family dog or a favorite doll or stuffed animal along for the fun.
Make Your Own Bubbles. Whether you’re at home in the backyard or at the park, blowing bubbles is always a fun activity for kids. Take the fun one step further and make your own bubbles together. All you need is a shallow pan, a little dish soap, water and glycerin (available at your local pharmacy). A house fly swatter doubles as a wand for lots of teeny bubbles. Check out some great bubble recipes and tips at bubbleblowers.com.
Hold a Neighborhood Bicycle Parade. Round up the children on your street and hold a bicycle and tricycle parade through the neighborhood. Use newspaper comic strips as handlebar streamers. Attach playing cards to the part of the bike that holds the wheels in place and when the wheels turn the spokes will make all sorts of noise.
Have a Garage Sale. Get rid of “stuff” in the house that you no longer want or need. Parents are always looking for “gently used” children’s things. Let your school-age kids manage their own lemonade stand. Or, if you’re in the market, take your kids to a neighborhood garage sale. Let your kids pick out a “new” toy. Remember, another kid’s old toy is new to your child. Garage sales are also great places to find gently used books for all ages to read. Check your local community newspaper for garage sale listings.
Chalk is Cheap. Sidewalk chalk is a great invention. It’s thicker than blackboard chalk (easier for small hands to maneuver), it lasts longer, and it comes in colors and fun shapes. Any sidewalk or driveway becomes a canvas for “works of art” and will attract children of all ages. This is a fun mess that is easy to clean up with a garden hose or families can just wait until it rains.
And for rainy days or those days when it’s just too hot to be outside, here are some great indoor activities to try:
Walk the Mall. Many local malls open their doors for walkers before the stores open. Get a group of moms and dads together, grab the kids and strollers and head out bright and early to get some exercise. Moms and dads can visit the coffee shop afterward and bring some juice boxes for the kids. Call your local mall to learn more about their walking program, as some require registration.
Visit the Public Library. The public library is a terrific and often underutilized resource for families. Because early literacy is a huge part of the library’s mission, most libraries have a number of free programs including story times, author readings, reading contests and even craft activities. Check your local phone book for library and branch information.
Bette Holtzman has been a family therapist and children’s advocate for more than 25 years. As Goldberger’s vice president of consumer and family advocacy, she interacts with parents, product designers and professionals to help clear paths of information and inspiration in the playthings Goldberger creates and in the concer
Weekend Warriors, Weekend War
“Did you just see that?” I asked Dominic, my 13-year-old, as we sat at the dining room table on a Friday night and I saw a blur fly by the window.
“What?”
“I saw something fly by the wind…there it is again! There’s stuff flying by the window!”
He turned around and, sure enough, falling objects where whizzing by our dining room window with a regularity only slightly less steady than summer hail.
We had put almost 3-year-old Victor to bed within the hour but I didn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes or even Katie Holmes to identify the suspect. I went to Victor’s room and, in the crack between the air conditioner and the window frame, he was throwing every toy and item of clothing he owned out the window and into the backyard. When I got to the side of the house, there was a pile of toys and clothes that turned the area into what looked like a dump site and took a half-hour to clean up. I did leave Victor’s pajama bottoms hanging in the tree as part of the exhibit Falling Clothes, designed by my own Frank Lloyd Wrong.
I swear, this and everything you’re about to read really happened in one weekend. The proximity of these events is irrelevant, however, since every few days has nearly as much drama and trauma.
Louis, at 16, said, “I’m already a better parent than you,” only half joking. It’s a hard point to argue after you allow a 3-year-old to empty his entire toy box and dresser in your backyard. His point, however, has some validity. After running our house like Attica during Louis’ early years, with strictly enforced mealtimes, regular lights out and plenty of time in “the hole,” er, time out, the house had become Club Ped for little Victor, our fourth, complete with flexible mealtimes and no punishment for not eating his vegetables. I was able to repay Louis’ little jab, however, with a buffet of embarrassment when, after taking off my shirt to try to get some sun while cutting the grass, a car pulls up to drop him off. “What, did the shirt monster pay a visit?” he muttered, shaking his head and walking away quickly.
The day after Victor’s Terrible Toy Tantrum, my 10-year-old son Chris begged me, in that constant and incessant way, to take him to Target so he could buy his mom a present “with his own money.” It’s hard not to be proud, a boy thinking of his mom and, even in this era of the bailout, not asking for a dime. So, with his own money, he bought his mom a $2.99 candle (she loves candles, he tells me) and then spends $25 on what must’ve been, in his mind, a toy as awesome as the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle was to Ralphie: the Nerf N-Strike Magstrike AS-10, a semi-automatic dart machine gun with a magazine holding 10 Nerf darts. He bought it, of course, with his own money, which turns out to have a story of its own. Chris had sold his friend Jack his PS2 player and 15 games for $80. Although I wasn’t consulted, I admired his initiative. But, it turns out 10 of the 15 games weren’t his! So now I have a $3 candle for mom, some heavy Nerf artillery and irate brothers who are threatening law suits, asking for compensation and begging for a cage match with their little brother.
In between the death threats, embarrassed teens, and, for Victor, the struggle just to clean up after him, there are moments of peace. After a weekend of falling toys, half-naked grass cutting and dodging Nerf bullets, the boys gathered in the backyard on Sunday night. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to do the garbage but it was for something even better. As I sat on the back porch, I watched the boys start a Whiffle Ball game. There was a little of the requisite arguing but mostly just throwing and hitting and catching and laughing and, most of all, the feeling of contentment from two parents who realize it’s all worth it.
Vic Gideon watches toys fall from the sky in Cleveland Heights.
When is Enough Enough with our Kids
I’m exhausted.
I didn’t realize addressing the wants of my four children could be so difficult and unfulfilling. Case in point: I was recently perusing a rack of discounted jackets for teens at a local department store with daughters Gabrielle, 14, and Maris, 10.
“These jackets are only $3,” Gabby said. “Can I get one?”
Being the type of father who always strives not only to provide for the needs of his four children, but also for their wants, I obliged her request. “Cool,” she replied. “Can I get two?”
Now she was pushing the envelope. I felt her request was out of bounds and I told her so in no uncertain terms. Maris didn’t want a jacket. She didn’t even want the $3 I gave her for when the time came for her to buy something she wanted.
Two days later, 5-year-old Jack was promised a Star Wars Lego set because of some good work and behavior he displayed at school. He couldn’t decide on which set he wanted so he asked, “Can I get them both?” He’s a clone of his big sister always trying to get more mileage out of dad’s tireless efforts.
Therein lies the problem that I have created for myself with two of my children. In my effort to be a good father, I spinelessly crumble to the underpinnings of their demands and get them what they want. I continually fuel the ferocious material monsters Gabby and her young brother have become. I feel like I’m swimming in mayonnaise with these two.
I present these scenarios in an effort to answer the philosophical question: when is enough enough with our children? I continually beat myself up each night because I’m afraid I didn’t do enough – or get enough – for my children that day. I try diligently to give them what I think is most important and valuable to them – my time and attention for listening to their concerns. It’s not always easy, but I avail myself every day to each of them to talk with them, to help with homework, or to address any other issues that may be troubling them.
I can say that I’m batting .500 with my children, as Maris and 2-year-old Erin are always content with what they have. I could hand Maris $100 to spend in a mall and she would walk out two hours later with the $100 still in her hand. Gabby could spend that much in five minutes.
Go ahead, you can say it. It’s my fault that Gabby and Jack are like this. But if that’s the case, why does my message sink in with Maris? Why does one of my children get it and two don’t? Erin is just 2, so I still have time to get it right with her.
As a father, I find it to be quite challenging to raise four children in a world that places a profound emphasis on materialism. A child’s economic standing or cultural background is a non-issue – each is besieged with a daily onslaught of messages from the popular culture that their happiness is derived from having the right things like iPods, iPhones, and the latest clothes from American Apparel and Hollister. My children are beginning to assign their happiness to consumer goods and that’s worrisome to me.
Cheri and I both realize that it is important for us to set the tone when it comes to material possessions – and how we field the requests for the latest toys, gadgets and clothes from our children. I also try to keep in mind that an explanation is always necessary when I deny their request and that my answer must be consistent with my and Cheri’s other behaviors with our children.
It’s quite possible that my children will continue to want more while I strive to provide them with less. I’m set on creating strong memories and bonds with my children that are not tied in some way to a consumer product. To Gabby’s credit, she has performed several productive hours of community service with those less fortunate than she through her Life Teen group at church. She is learning some valuable lessons, yet she still salivates whenever some new technological item is released to the marketplace.
So it seems like enough may never be enough with them.
Enough said. More or less.
Ron Hollowell bonds with his children and wife at home in Hambden Township.
Father's Day: Five Inexpensive Ways to Show You Care
By Denise Yearian
Father’s Day is a special day set aside to celebrate dads and other male role models in your children’s lives. This year, Father’s Day falls on June 18. Rather than spending a fortune on gadgets and gizmos that break or collect dust, why not try a creative approach to gift giving? Following is a list of five no-cost ways to show Dad the appreciation and love he deserves.
1. "This is your life."
Make Dad feel honored with a special presentation of "This is your Life." Stage the show as if it were a television special. Have one person be the show host who interviews other family members regarding what they love about Dad. They may also want to share a story or memory they have of him. Between interviews, prepare a special song, poem or other talent in his honor. Ask Mom to videotape the program and your father will have a keepsake for years to come.
Picnic in Red, White and Blue
Amidst the everyday and the same old, same old calendar days, come traditional holidays and rituals. I've noted how even a small celebration or recognition can shake up the ole getting-to-be-boring routine, put some spring back in our step or just a dash of spice into our daily rounds. Even the simplest little things can do the trick – like having a picnic.
Sometimes I find myself holding back from it, my mind jumping ahead to the packing, hauling and overall cavorting. While I love picnics, it's just that the planning and main gist of the doing seems to fall into mom's lap – probably because I used to try to plan the whole bash with homemade goodies too. You know the drill: potato salad, Jell-O salad, enticing grill foods, drinks, etc.
Enter the new me: one homemade dish with an accompaniment of selections – some from the store, others that my grill-man (aka husband) has hot off the coals. So now all I have to do is the prep and planning. The kids do the set-up and clean-up, grill-man cooks and we all get to enjoy the best part: the food.
But another thing I've noticed about the planning is that when I tuck a little extra oomph or "specialness" into that basket – be it a different salad or dessert with a different topping or side dip – everyone's eyes light up. Perhaps it's just a new dressing, sauce or surprise flavor, but it helps make our everyday ordinary a tad more extraordinary.
So July Fourth is coming up and we all know what that means: sparklers, fireworks, swimming and picnics. Family picnics of all kinds, whether it's a gathering of two or 20, can be a fun way to lighten life.
And that's where the red, white and blue of July Fourth can step in. How about choosing one red, white or blue food or going with one of each to add to your picnic food this holiday? Or if you're feeling very ambitious put that red, white and blue all in one dish.
According to the book "Our Flag" published in 1989 by the House of Representatives, "On July 4, 1776, the Continental Congress passed a resolution authorizing a committee to devise a seal for the United States of America. The colors red, white and blue did not have meanings for The Stars and Stripes when it was adopted in 1777. However, the colors in the Great Seal did have specific meanings." Apparently those were intended as the following:
White - purity and innocence
Red - hardiness and valor
Blue - vigilance, perseverance and justice
Here's wishing you and yours a happy, healthy Independence Day. And here's an idea list of some easy picnic foods to help get you started creating your own red, white and blue picnic surprise:
Red
o Cherries - in a large bowl for snacking
o Strawberries - with cheesecake or shortcake
o Raspberries - topping a cake, pie or with shortcake
o Watermelon - in slices, chunks or balls
o Tomatoes - freshly sliced or in salsa with chips
White
o Bananas - sliced in fruit salad (with a squirt of lemon juice to minimize browning from oxidation)
o Apples - another great addition to fruit salad (with the lemon juice)
o Coconut - as a dessert topping or tossed in with fruit
o Potatoes - in classic potato salad or wrapped in foil and baked
o Vanilla - popular as ice cream or in frosting flavors, it's a white backdrop for all things red and blue
Blue
o Blueberries - toss handfuls in fresh with watermelon cubes or top desserts
o Blue corn chips - with salsa and sliced
o Grapes - cut into small bunches for snacking or added to fruit salads
o Black raspberries - with vanilla ice cream or in Jell-O desserts
Best Places for a Picnic
Our list was compiled via the staff of TNT Publications so we don’t claim to be all-inclusive. There are many, many more wonderful and diverse places to take lunch and enjoy the scenery. Take advantage of the few we have here and let us know of others that you enjoy.
Akron Area
Stow
http://www.stow.oh.us/Departments/ParksRecreation/playgrounds.shtml
Cuyahoga Falls behind Waterworks Park
http://cfo.cityofcf.com/website/content/parksandrec/amenities.pdf
Goodyear Metropark
Oakwood Park
Silver Springs (in Stow)
Sand Run Park
West Side
Cleveland Metroparks' Huntington Reservation in Bay Village
Sandy Ridge Metropark in Lorain County Metroparks
Cleveland Metroparks Zoo - they have nice big picnic shelters there
French Creek Reservation in Lorain County Metroparks
East Side
(covers eastern Cuyahoga and Western Lake counties) North Chagrin Reservation – bike trail, nature center, duck pond and much more “jam-packed with fun”
Lake County
Lake Metroparks (www.lakemetroparks.com)
Chapin Forest with fishing and hiking trails
Geneva State Park
Fairport Harbor Beach
Lakefront Park in Willowick
Geauga County
Holden Arboretum
Portage County (www.portageparkdistrict.org)
Towner’s Woods - 2296 Ravenna Road, Franklin Township
Medina County (www.medinacountyparks.com)
Stark County (www.starkparks.com)
Ohio and Erie Canalway includes Towpath Trail, Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railway, Ohio & Erie Canalway Byway
Summer Fun & Travel: Pennsylvania's Laurel Highlands
Spectacular Scenery Meets Old-Fashioned Fun
The thriving metropolis of Pittsburgh, just one hour north of the Laurel Highlands, is counted among the country’s biggest cities. But every major town has countryside to call its own and Pittsburgh’s is the Laurel Highlands.
The natural area consists of 10 state parks and forests. Named for the mountain laurel plant, which blooms during the first and second weeks of June, the Laurel Highlands and its hills and valleys, bloom with different colors from March through October.
They're All The Best Age
Truth Be Told,
Several of the families that have moved into my neighborhood over the last few years have kids who are younger than mine. But since my youngest, when I first started to notice this migration, was still in preschool, I didn’t feel so far away from the life the new neighbors seemed to be living with at least one – and sometimes more than one – child still in diapers, while my youngest was only just toilet-trained. Changing tables, anti-rash creams and toys with parts too small for 3-year-olds continued to occupy space in a separate cabinet out of reach of a toddler in my living room cum playroom.
Helping Your Child Learn to Read
Helping Your Child Learn to Read
There is probably no more important activity for preparing your child to succeed as a reader than reading aloud together. Fill your story times with a variety of books. Be consistent, be patient and watch the magic work.
Even after children learn to read by themselves, it’s still important for you to read aloud together. By reading stories that are on their interest level, but beyond their reading level, you can stretch young readers’ understanding and motivate them to improve their skills.
Advertise the joy of reading
The goal is to motivate children to want to read so they will practice reading independently and, thus, become fluent readers. That happens when children enjoy reading. We parents can do for reading what fast-food chains do for hamburgers… advertise. And we advertise by reading great stories and poems to children.
We can help our children find the tools they need to succeed in life. Having access to information through the printed word is an absolute necessity. Knowledge is power and books are full of it. But reading is more than just a practical tool. Through books we can enrich our minds; we can also relax and enjoy some precious leisure moments.
With your help, your children can begin a lifelong relationship with the printed word, so they grow into adults who read easily and frequently whether for business, knowledge or pleasure.
Remember when you were very young
Between the ages of 4 and 7, many children begin to recognize words on a page. In our society this may begin with recognition of a logo for a fast-food chain or the brand name of a favorite cereal. But, before long, that special moment when a child holds a book and starts to decode the mystery of written words is likely to occur.
You can help remove part of the mystery without worrying about a lot of theory. Just read the stories and poems and let them work their wonders. There is no better way to prepare your child for that moment when reading starts to “click,” even if it’s years down the road.
It will help, however, if we open our eyes to some things adult readers tend to take for granted. It’s easier to be patient when we remember how much children do not know. Here are a few concepts we adults know so well we forget sometimes we ever learned them.
There’s a difference between words and pictures. Point to the print as you read aloud.
Words on a page have meaning and that is what we learn to read
Words go across the page from left to right. Follow with your finger as you read.
Words on a paper are made up of letters and are separated by a space.
Each letter has at least two forms: one for capital letters and one for small letters.
Imagine how you would feel if you were trying to interpret a book full of hieroglyphics. That’s how young readers feel. But, a little patience – maybe by turning it into a puzzle you can solve together – is certain to build confidence.
Home is where the heart is
It’s no secret that activities at home are an important supplement to the classroom, but there’s more to it than that. There are things that parents can give children at home that the classrooms cannot give.
Children who are read to, grow to love books. Over the years, these children will have good memories to treasure. They remember stories that made them laugh and stories that made them cry. They remember sharing these times with someone they love and they anticipate with joy the time when they will be able to read for themselves.
By reading aloud together, by being examples and by doing other activities, parents are in a unique position to help children enjoy reading and see the value of it.
Article provided by Huntington Learning Centers located in Broadview Heights, 440-526-9450, University Heights, 216-382-8461 and Stow, 330-673-7200. www.huntingtonlearning.com.
Jobs for Teens
Advice and Law Concerning Teenagers and Employment
Child Labor Law
Child labor law, enacted by the Federal Government, restricts when children can work and what jobs they can do. Teens hired for nonagricultural employment (which is just about everything other than farm work) must be at least 14. Other child labor law restrictions, regulating the type of positions young workers can hold and the type of work they can do, are also in effect.
Job Restrictions
18 Years of Age
Once a youth reaches 18 years of age, he or she is no longer subject to the federal youth employment and child labor law provisions.
16 and 17 Years of Age
At 16-17 years old, children may be employed for unlimited hours in any occupation other than those declared hazardous by the Secretary of Labor. Examples of equipment declared hazardous in food-service establishments include power-driven meat processing machines (meat slicers, saws, patty-forming machines, grinders or choppers), commercial mixers and certain power-driven bakery machines.
14 and 15 Years of Age
During the school year, hours are limited to three hours a day and 18 hours a week. On days when there's no school and in the summer, working hours increase to eight hours a day and 40 hours a week. There are limits on when children can work, too - no later than 7 p.m. during the school year and no later than 9 p.m. between June 1 and Labor Day. Restaurants and quick-service establishments may employ14- and 15- year-olds outside school hours in a variety of jobs for limited periods of time and under specified conditions.
Jobs for Younger Teens
· Babysitting
· Pet sitting/dog walking
· Lawn and yard work
· Shoveling driveways
· Household chores/cleaning
· Errands
· Homework help/tutoring
Typical Teen Jobs
· Camp counselor
· Cashier
· Child care assistant
· City or town summer jobs program
· Fast food or restaurant
· Hospitality - hotels, resorts
· Lawn/yard maintenance
· Lifeguard
· Retail
· Resort jobs - ski resorts, vacation resorts, amusement parks
· Office Assistant
Where to Find Teen Jobs
· Check with your high school guidance office for job postings.
· Check the newspaper help-wanted ads.
· Walk around town or the mall and look for help-wanted signs in store windows.
Summer Fun & Travel: Get Away to Galena and Dubuque
Hot Air Balloons, Golf, Shopping and Plenty of Charm: Galena and Dubuque Have It All
Considering going somewhere different this year for your family vacation? Try a get-away to Galena, Ill., and Dubuque, Iowa. Why? Just a quick couple of flights or a nine-hour drive from Cleveland, it’s closer than you think and out of the ordinary.
Unspoiled beauty
An area missed by the glaciers, this destination has unspoiled beauty and rolling hills. There are lots of family-friendly activities including hiking, biking, historical sites, winter recreation, shopping, restaurants and relaxation. The Mississippi River winds its way quietly through Dubuque where there is canoeing, kayaking and fishing on the river. You can also go camping, ballooning and horseback riding to take in the beautiful scenery in the area. In the winter, skiing abounds at the Chestnut Mountain Resort in Galena and there is Sundown Mountain Resort in Dubuque. Chestnut Mountain also offers an Alpine Slide, which takes you on a sled in the summer down 2,050 feet of tailored track to the Mississippi River.
When Winning Attitudes Get Benched
What To Do When Winning, Not Sportsmanship, Is Your Athlete's Main Concern
It’s easy to give children sage advice about sportsmanship: “It’s not whether you win or lose it’s how you play the game” or “Winning isn’t everything.” But in sportsmanship, as with most things in life, children learn better through deeds than words. What’s more, it’s a team effort – parents, teachers, coaches and children must all work together to make sure a policy of sportsmanship is understood and enforced, both on the field and at home.
Running on Empty
As I took my place with the other runners for the start of the race, I reviewed my steps in my mind. I stepped into the starting blocks and paced my breathing to what I knew would carry me to the finish line in first place. Waiting…waiting…CRACK! The report off the starter’s pistol launched us forward.
Arms pumping, legs churning and adrenaline flowing I got off to a great start when, suddenly, reality returned. Five other runners flashed by me on either side and quickly disappeared down the 100-meter front stretch to the tape. Several seconds that felt like minutes later, I too crossed the line.
My sprinting coach smiled, put his arms around my shoulders and started walking with me away from my teammates. “Doug,” he asked, “have you ever met our distance coach?”
So ended my dream of sprinting to Olympic glory just one meet into my high school track career. But since the sprinting coach said I had “a distance runner’s form,” I soon found myself training with the guys who counted a 5-mile run as a nice warm-up. Where I had been looking for blazing speed and quick results, I was getting burning thighs and slow, steady pain.
So what, 30 years later, was I doing standing on yet another starting line, waiting for the start of yet another race? Granted, it was the start of a 1-mile “fun run” in our community, and I was doing it so my son could participate along with the Old Man, but I’ll be honest – even when I was in track, the words “run” and “fun” were never together in my vocabulary.
Just a few months earlier, I had convinced my oldest daughter to join the “Couch Potato to 5K” training class with me at the Tallmadge Recreation Center. This program, I was assured, could turn even a nonrunner into a 5K finisher. Though she is a competitive soccer player and can easily run circles around me, it had been since winter that she had actually done any running. It has been several (dozen) winters for me, but I figured age and pride (not to mention legs twice as long as hers) would carry me across the finish line first. After three weeks of practice I was feeling – if not great – pretty good about my chances.
Alas, as they say, pride goeth before the fall, and age definitely played a major part in the knee pain that sidelined me for most of the remaining classes. Sure, I had heard the legend of the “runner’s high,” that magical blast of endorphins that causes distance runners to forget about what they are doing and how incredibly painful it was, but I’ll admit I never made it far enough to feel it. I just felt old.
Unable to complete the training, I decided to switch to the 1-mile fun run with The Boy. A mile? Heck, I could certainly do that. I plotted my strategy. When The Boy got tired, we could just walk and I'd let him catch his breath, while helping him to savor the excitement of the event. It was the perfect plan.
Perhaps a little too perfect. As we cheered The Oldest on as she gamely stood on the starting line to tackle the 5K with a great mass of other dedicated and fit runners, I told my little marathoner that I'd wait for him if he needed a rest once it was our turn to run.
I needn't have worried. At the sound of the starter's horn, he simply sprinted away from me, never once looking back to see if I was still waiting for him. "The plan!" I shouted as he disappeared into the distance. "I'm supposed to wait for you!"
To make a long story longer, I was bested in my return to the racing world by two of my children – the Oldest in distance and The Boy in speed. But to be honest, I didn't care. Watching their four fleet feet disappear from me put a smile on my face. Suddenly, running was fun again. It even makes me want to start training again. I know they're running away from me but maybe they'll slow down just a little bit so I can watch them a little while longer.
Doug Kaufman is always running around Tallmadge with his wife, Renee and his team, Ally (16), Maria (11) and Ryan (8).
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: When is it Really a Problem
Non-Medical Causes May Lead to an ADHD Diagnosis
When a child has trouble in school, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is often the first diagnosis considered. Nearly 1 in 10 American boys are on medication to treat this diagnosis. The epidemic-like status of ADHD in the United States requires that we pay good attention to attention. To know what it is. And what it isn’t.
What is attention?
Attention is the ability to bring the working focus of your mind to bear on one task, to the exclusion of others. There are many varieties of attention.
The ability to focus on specific types of information input: what is seen, heard or felt.
The ability to maintain focus sufficiently to complete or execute a task.
The ability to pick the best thing to do next, ignoring that which may not be prudent or productive.
The ability to change focus to a newer, more urgent, more important subject.
What causes a lack of attention?
There are several reasons our children’s minds are under stress to maintain attention:
1. Schools demand more complex cognitive tasks and attentional skills at younger ages. Children may have an hour of complex homework every night.
2. Attention is getting more attention. When a child struggles in school, causes are sought. ADHD is often the first explanation proposed and in many cases, the only one taken seriously.
3. As schools demand more from our children, more children push back, insisting on paying attention to their own playful thoughts and becoming increasingly resentful of the demands of school.
4. There may be a real increase in abnormal attentional function, a trend that is hard to measure and hard to prove.
How much trouble with attention is needed to say there is a true disorder?
If your child has a variety of behaviors that raise concern but is doing well at school and in the family, it may not be time to worry. But if you see your child unhappily struggling or failing in school, or having trouble executing tasks at home, it is likely time for an evaluation.
How do you find out if it is ADHD?
In many ways the problem of attention deficit is very much like fever. Fever is not a diagnosis, just a symptom that can be caused by a huge number of conditions. When you take your child with a fever to the doctor you would be very disappointed if the doctor only told you he or she had a fever, and not the cause of the fever – an ear infection, a virus, or pneumonia, for example – similarly with attention deficit. Trouble paying attention is a symptom, not a diagnosis. ADHD is just one of six possible reasons your child may not be paying attention:
1. emotions: e.g., depression, anxiety
2. cognitive dysfunction: e.g., dyslexia, working memory dysfunction, processing dysfunctions
3. conflicts: e.g., mismatch with teacher, trouble with bullies, strains in the family 4. physical illness: just about any illness can interfere with focus
5. personality: e.g., oppositional defiant or conduct disorders
6. adhd
With the exception of ADHD, all the other causes occur in a child with good attentional function, but whose ability to pay attention has been distracted by the condition.
The standardized questionnaire that asks parents and teachers to rate the severity of various symptoms yields a reliable measure of the person’s opinion about the child’s symptoms and has a place in evaluation, but should never be the only basis for a diagnosis. A very careful evaluation by a pediatric neuropsychologist will measure the child’s attentional function directly and allow for a very reliable evaluation of your child, including an assessment of all six reasons a person could appear to have a deficit of attention.
Attention is one of the most important functions of the brain. Everyone experiences limitations in their powers of attention. How well your child functions at school and at home is a great way to measure how worried to be. If you are concerned, the evaluation of a pediatric neuropsychologist offers the most in-depth approach to finding out exactly what is causing your child to not pay attention. Only by knowing the cause of your child’s attention problems can they be best addressed and managed.
Dr. Arthur Lavin practices at Advanced Pediatrics in Beachwood and has been recognized as a national leader in the approach to the child struggling in school. He will continue his discussion regarding ADHD in future issues including: When is ADHD a problem?, Medications- how they help, how they hurt and nonmedication aids for ADHD.
Teens Facing Lean Summer Job Scene
Competition from older adults muddies already murky employment waters
The proactive approach taken by Jim Gerrick in his summer job search is paying great dividends for the Brooklyn Heights resident and recent graduate of Trinity High School in Garfield Heights. While some of his classmates are struggling to find a job this summer to help pay for their college tuition or their new car, Gerrick is juggling two jobs. He is working at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo and he coaches baseball at the Brooklyn Heights Recreation Center.
Gerrick is working a 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. shift at the zoo five to six days a week, then he drives five minutes to the Brooklyn Heights Recreation Center to start coaching by 6 p.m.
“I worked at these places – the zoo and the Brooklyn Heights Rec Center – before so it wasn’t hard for me to get rehired,” Gerrick said. “I seem to be a good worker for them and my bosses like me. I also like them and our customers.”
The ambitious Gerrick, who will enter John Carroll University this fall as a mathematics major, already has a job lined up when he is not attending classes. He will work in the day care center at Fuchs Mizrachi School, an Orthodox Jewish college preparatory day school in University Heights offering educational programs for preschool though grade 12.
“I’m not someone who waits for a job to come to them,” Gerrick said. “I don’t like to trust other people with getting a job for me. I like to take the initiative to find and to get jobs that are right for me.”
Grim Statistics
Having worked during the past year at both facilities gave Gerrick a leg up on the competition, but his scenario is by no means the norm for teenagers looking for work amid a tumultuous economy. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that during 2008, only 32 percent of teens age 16 to 19 were employed. This figure represents an all-time low, descending from 45 percent just eight years earlier.
In May, the Bureau reported the unemployment rate for teens age 16 to 19 catapulted to nearly 22 percent in March – the highest rate since 1992 – a jump from nearly 16 percent in March 2008. The Bureau noted that fewer teens have part-time jobs today because they stay in school longer, spend more time studying and have less free time.
The waters of the employment pool for teens are also muddied because they face competition not just from their teen counterparts, but also from laid-off or unemployed baby boomers looking to find any means possible to support their families.
Pat Perry is president of Mayfield Village-based Employers Resource Council, which is Northeast Ohio's largest organization dedicated to human resources and workplace programs, practices, training and consulting. Perry acknowledges that while baby boomers may be competing for some jobs in the retail and food-service industry across the country, he has not seen evidence of this trend in Northeast Ohio.
“In some cases, yes (adults are competing with teens for jobs),” Perry said. “But we continue to see teens have opportunities across the board.”
Baby boomers, rather than teenagers, may prove to be advantageous hires for many companies because they know what it is like to work above and beyond for their pay, said Cindy DeVito, human resources manager with Cardinal Community Credit Union in Mentor. Teens, in some instances, merely want to do as little as possible to earn a paycheck, she said.
Gain an Advantage
Teens competing with adults for a position can give themselves a competitive advantage, Perry said. It is imperative that young job seekers develop a professional-looking and updated resume, and they should attempt to gain meaningful work experience – and reflect this experience on their resume.
“Teens also should read up on interviewing tips and practice interviewing with a parent,” Perry said. “They should wear business casual or better clothing to interviews – no jeans. It’s important to research jobs and to work hard on contacting as many potential employers as possible.”
Perry recommends that teens leave their cellular telephones at home and after every interview they should send a handwritten thank-you note to the person who interviewed them.
William Avery and Molly Holland, co-founders of the Organization for Cultural Competency LLC, in Shaker Heights, believe teenagers today put themselves at a disadvantage simply because they lack reverence for adults and the customers they serve in the workplace.
“We’ve lost a lot of respect in our culture for each other and it is particularly true with the way teens interact with adults,” Avery said. “From their attire to the way they speak, a lot of kids don’t know how to behave at work.”
Holland said she and Avery recently were in a fast-food restaurant when they overheard a manager tell a teenage employee that she would have to work on a Saturday night.
“She told him no because Saturday night is date night,” Holland said. “The younger generation expects more from their employers than older people do. They think they should get great accolades just for showing up to work. This reason is why teens are finding competition among adults for service-type jobs.”
Age also is an issue in some companies because employers who have older workers know they will work by the old standards, Avery said. Teens tend to work differently on the job – often preferring to do the job their way as opposed to the way their employers want them to perform.
“Anymore teens think that in 20 minutes they can tell someone who has worked at a company for 20 years how to do a job,” Holland said. “Teens aren’t afraid to speak their minds. The younger generation expects more today than we did.”
Teens can gain an edge on their foes by understanding the value of money and the value of working hard to earn it, Avery said.
Gerrick clearly is one teen meticulously crafting a strong work ethic that will pay him greater dividends down the road.
“With the economy the way it is, teens today can’t give up on their job search,” he said. “They have to keep pushing to find a job that they like and that they are comfortable with.
“Money is money,” he added. “You have to be grateful for any job you can get right now.”
Ron Hollowell is a Hambden Township freelance writer.
Kentucky Offers Outdoor Adventure for Older Children
By the time children reach age 10 or older, parents might be ready for something beyond the ordinary amusement park or beach vacation. If you’ve been thinking about an outdoor adventure vacation less than a day’s drive from Northeast Ohio, head to the Red River Gorge area of eastern Kentucky.
The Mountain Parkway Trails Corridor east of Lexington offers a plethora of outdoor activities sure to please parents and their pre-teens and teens. The main attraction of the region is the Red River Gorge.
Red River Gorge
Families can take a journey through magnificent natural wonders via the Red River Gorge Scenic Byway. The byway begins in Stanton and continues through the historic Nada Tunnel to the end at Zachariah.
A National Natural Landmark, the gorge is part of the Daniel Boone National Forest. It’s the result of more than 70 million years of wind and water sculpting and it boasts the largest concentration of rock shelters and arches east of the Rockies.
Discover more than 100 stone arches and waterfalls along the way, many accessible by foot. While some outdoor adventures are for the experienced only, there are plenty of family opportunities beyond hiking, such as canoeing and rock climbing.
Two attractions not be missed along the byway are the Nada Tunnel and the Gladie Creek Historic Site.
Nada Tunnel. An interesting way to enter the Red River Gorge is through the 900-foot Nada Tunnel, located along KY 77. This tunnel, open to one-lane traffic only, was built for use by a logging railroad during the early 1900s. The tunnel is on the National Register of Historic Places.
Construction on the 13-foot by 12-foot tunnel took a year and was completed in 1911. Rock and dirt were removed by dynamite, steam drills and hand tools. A man was killed during tunnel construction when he attempted to thaw frozen dynamite, which exploded when he set it near a fire.
Gladie Creek Historic Site. While traveling the byway, visit the Gladie Cultural & Environmental Learning Center and historic site at Gladie Creek. The Gladie Cabin, a reconstructed log house, is the only structure in the Red River Gorge that dates to the late 1800s. An information center near the cabin is open spring through fall from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m.
For more information:
606-663-8100, www.redrivergorge.com
Natural Bridge State Resort Park
While the Red River Gorge may be the focal point of the region, Natural Bridge State Resort Park near Slade in Powell County is a close second. Stay at the Hemlock Lodge and use it as a “base camp” for exploring all the area’s outdoor, recreational, historical and cultural amenities.
Hemlock Lodge includes a dining room, probably a good thing since the remote park doesn’t have a lot of nearby eating options. Visitors can peruse the gift shop and nature center when they’re not in the swimming pool, fishing, paddle boating or hiking. A campground also is available.
Rates at the lodge or in one of several cottages typically range from $100 to $150 per night for a family. Camping fees range from $14 to $28 per night, depending on time of season and amenities.
July 11 and Aug. 8 provide a couple of organized hikes to explore several arches. On these guided hikes, you will get a good look at the area's rugged cliff lines, rock shelters, rhododendron and natural arches. Destinations include well-known features, as well as some little known secrets.
Each trip is different. Total distances vary from six to 12 miles. Preregistration is required and space is limited. Cost is $10/person. Adults and children ages 12 and up are welcome. To register, contact Tyler Morgan at tyler.morgan@ky.gov or 606-663-2214.
For more information:
800-325-1710, parks.ky.gov/findparks/resortparks/nb
We know, even pre-teens and teens need some plain-old fun during a vacation. How do close encounters with venomous, rare reptiles suit you? Or maybe go-carts, bumper cars and bumper boats? Or ATV and dirt-bike riding? The area has them all.
Kentucky Reptile Zoo
There are few reptile collections that can compare to the diversity of animals on display at the Kentucky Reptile Zoo, just a couple of miles from Natural Bridge State Park.
Animals on exhibit range from an 18-foot reticulated python, the largest resident, to many types of venomous snakes such as cobras, vipers and rattlesnakes, to Fluffy the alligator. One of the favorite areas for kids is the Turtle Tracks Area, where tortoises and aquatic turtles can be seen.
The zoo offers live venom extractions on most days by Jim Harrison, the zoo’s director, and public reptile programs. Guests are given informal tours by knowledgeable guides, so any reptile-related questions you have will be answered.
For more information:
11 a.m.-6 p.m. daily from Memorial Day through Labor Day.
Admission: $6 adults, $4 ages 3-15, free under 3
606-663-9160, www.kyreptilezoo.org
Echo Valley Amusements
Located near Natural Bridge, experience fast go-karts on a slick track, wet ’n’ wild bumper boats, spin ’n’ bump bumper cars and an indoor arcade. 606-663-5518.
Mountain Parkway Off-Road
The park in Clay City is an ATV and dirt-bike riding and racing park with a trail network extending more than 40 miles through every possible terrain. It offers beginner to wickedly challenging pro trails.
The family-friendly off-highway vehicle park’s terrain varies from flat bottoms and mud to steep and rocky mountain trails. For family members seeking a little less excitement, stocked lakes allow for quiet fishing.
For more information:
300 Rose Lane, Clay City
606-663-1028, www.mountainparkwayoffroad.com
Torrent Falls Climbing Adventure Park
A climbing adventure park might sound like something only for the experienced, but Torrent Falls caters to families as much as experienced climbers. The park includes guided climbing, guided rappelling and a via ferrata (a climbing system aided by cables and hand and foot rungs). Ages 10 and up have a choice of climbing experiences. Ages 6-10 can participate in guided climbing. No experience is needed for any of the climbs.
For more information:
1617 North KY 11, Campton
606-668-6613, www.torrentfalls.com
Miguel’s Pizza & Rock Climbing Shop
While rock climbing here only is for the experienced, families can have their own experience by sampling a large variety of interesting pizzas or chicken pita sandwiches. Try an Ale-8. No, it’s not a beer, but a locally brewed soft drink with a unique flavor.
For years, this has been the “hang out” for climbing enthusiasts. Stay a while and be entertained by what you see and hear, including from Miguel himself.
Miguel’s is the closest restaurant outside of Natural Bridge State Park. For more information, call 606-663-1975.
Kathy’s Country Kitchen
Home of the fried green tomato, Kathy’s Country Kitchen at 20 Black Creek Road in Clay City has plenty of choices if their trademark item isn’t to your liking. Owner Kathy Reed and her staff offer up plenty of country cookin’ fare, such as catfish. It’s included in the book “101 Best Places to Eat in Kentucky.”
For more information, call 606-663-4179
Directions from Northeast Ohio
Travel time: 6 hours
Distance: 370 miles
Directions: I-71 south to Cincinnati, I-75 south to Lexington, Ky., I-64 east to exit 98 (Mountain Parkway), follow parkway to exit 33 for Slade.
For more information:
Southern & Eastern Kentucky Tourism Development Association
877-TOUR-SEKY, www.tourseky.com
Summer Fun is Sizzling by the Bay in Michigan
The buzz lately has been all about stay-cations. And now with the down economy there is the no-cation. But why settle for either of those when you can take a real vacation to Traverse City, Mich. Just a six-hour drive from the Cleveland area, Traverse City is the answer to the question, “Honey, where should we take the kids this summer?”
Summer on Special
Take advantage of the Sizzling Summer Specials, which run from June 12 through Sept. 10. More than 25 hotels, motels and resorts are participating in this offer, which includes discounts on everything from dining, golf and spa services to boat rentals, wine purchases, hot air balloon flights and tall ship sailings.
With its miles of powder-white beaches, clear, aquamarine-colored bays the likes of which are usually only seen south of Florida, outdoor recreational activities, antique and gallery shopping, fabulous restaurants and wineries, and unbelievable natural beauty, the Traverse City area has long been a favorite Midwest summer destination.
Water Wonderland
What can be more fun in the summer than a beach? Resorts, hotels and motels are situated all around the bay with access to miles of sandy shoreline. Parents will be glad to know that the too-blue-to-be-true water of Grand Traverse Bay is considered one of the cleanest freshwater bodies in the world, not to mention one of the prettiest.
If the kids get tired of making sandcastles, the water holds other adventures. Sail across the crystal clear bay on a schooner, paddle a canoe or kayak down a river, or search the shoreline for Petoskey stones – pebble-shaped rocks composed of fossilized coral. (Local lore has it they’re lucky.)
Want some exercise? Sea kayaking is a fun family activity and a chance to see that blue, blue water up close. Eric Clone of Boardman Paddle & Pedal can outfit you for a trip across West Bay to Power Island or in East Bay from Haserot Beach to the Old Mission Light. If you’re new to kayaking, he provides instruction as well.
Bike scenic trails such as the Vasa Pathway, a cross-country ski trail turned single-track mountain bike trail, or hike the beautiful Sleeping Bear Dunes.
All that exercise and fun in the sun got you hungry? Traverse City is the Cherry Capital of the World. The National Cherry Festival takes place this year from July 4-11. Cherries are in season from July through August. Pick your own or pick up a quart or two at nearby orchards and hold your own cherry-seed-spitting championship. It’s a summertime ritual in Traverse City – Cherry Republic makes it easy by selling packets of ready-to-spit chocolate-covered cherry pits.
The Grand Traverse Pie Company has personal cherry pies and slices of any other pie you can think of, along with a great selection of soups, wraps, quiches and sandwiches.
Lighthouses Galore
With about 3,000 miles of coastline, Michigan has more lighthouses than any other state. More than 130 lighthouses were built in the 19th century to warn mariners away from the numerous beaches, shoals and headlands. Traverse City is a convenient base for exploring five of them, including the Grand Traverse, South Manitou Island and Old Mission Point lighthouses. Four of the five can be easily visited: three are open for tours, and visitors can spend a week or two as volunteer lighthouse keepers at two of them.
The South Manitou Island lighthouse, dark for more than 50 years after guiding ships past the treacherous sandbars of Michigan’s Sleeping Bear Dunes for a century, was just relit this spring.
The Maritime Museum (a former U.S. Lifesaving Service station) is located at Sleeping Bear Point in Glen Haven, a historic village three miles west of Glen Arbor. During summer at 3 p.m. daily, there is a re-enactment of the breeches buoy rescue drill with Raggedy Ann and Andy as shipwreck victims. This program is especially enjoyed by children, who are encouraged to participate in the drill exercise.
History & Culture
Traverse City is home to a thriving Native American community. The region’s Indians – who call themselves Anishinaabek, or “The People” – aren’t just a colorful part of its past history; they’re an active participant in the area’s growing role as a recreational and leisure destination.
The 4,024-member Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians, headquartered in Peshawbestown where they hold an annual pow wow, opened the Eyaawing Museum & Cultural Center this spring.
The museum contains exhibit galleries, a visitor center, community archives, an audio/video viewing room and a museum store featuring traditional and contemporary Anishinaabek arts such as black ash baskets, bead and quill jewelry, dream catchers, and more.
Mom, if you don’t get enough of Traverse City while there with your family, you can go back and take advantage of a Girlfriend Getaway package. Packages combine special low rates at participating hotels and resorts and discounts on winter recreation, shopping, dining and entertainment.
The fun doesn’t stop at the end of the summer. In the fall, go horseback riding at Ranch Rudolf, pick fresh apples at Kilcherman’s Antique Apple Orchard in Northport, get lost in a corn maze, go on a hayride, or visit a farm market and choose a pumpkin.
Even winter has its fair share of things to do – ice fish, snowshoe or cross-country ski at the numerous of rivers, lakes, parks and resorts around Traverse City.
Traverse City visitor information
800-TRAVERSE
www.visittraversecity.com
Traverse City for Kids guidebook
www.visittraversecity.com/traverse-city-for-kids-203/
Parks and Museums:
Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore
www.nps.gov/slbe
231-326-5134
Great Lakes Children’s Museum.
www.glcm.org
231-932-4526
Black Star Farms Petting Zoo
www.blackstarfarms.com/
Suttons Bay
Eyaawing Museum & Cultural Center
2304 N. West Bay Shore Dr.
Peshawbestown
Family Festivals & Events:
June 20 Northport Lighthouse & Maritime Festival. Celebrate the area’s maritime heritage with a traditional Lake Michigan whitefish boil, live musical entertainment, a boat-building demonstration, an arts and craft show, and other activities. Visit the Grand Traverse Lighthouse Museum while you’re there.
July 18 Empire Anchor Days. Celebrate the discovery of a huge anchor off Empire Beach.
Aug. 14-16 Peshawbestown Pow Wow. This three-day festival of music, dance and food combines the best features of a dance, a religious observance and an enormous family reunion.
Sept. 11-13 Michigan Schooner Festival. The waters of Grand Traverse Bay will swarm with a wide array of sailing vessels, from sleek two-masted cargo schooners and classic yachts to tidy little Mackinaw boats and even a replica British armed sloop from the War of 1812, as well as food, music, tours, rides, cannon-shooting and a Sunday morning Pancakes with Pirates event.
Other fun things to do:
Take a Kid’s Cruise on the Nauti-Cat, www.nauti-cat.com, 231-947-1730
Sail on the Tall Ship Manitou. Traverse Tall Ship Co., www.tallshipsailing.com, 800-678-0383
Parasail on East Bay - East Bay Parasail, www.eastbayparasail.com, 888-504-2276
Play miniature golf - Pirate’s Cove Adventure Park, www.piratescove.net, 231-938-9599
Canoeing, kayak or tube. Ranch Rudolf, www.ranchrudolf.com, 231-947-9529
Teaching Children How to Grieve
Using the Death of a Pet to Help Children Grow
At age 4, Christian Knight had his first experience with death. His mother, Danielle Knight, found his fish floating upside down in the small aquarium in their home. To ease his distress, Danielle explained to her son that his fish had died and was not coming back. Whether your child’s pet is a fish, dog or cat, the death of a pet can be traumatic. Helping your child understand how to deal with his or her grief is important.
Death is not an easy notion for a child to understand, especially when a close member of the family, like a pet has died or is dying.
“It is important to understand that the period of time from birth to old age is much shorter for pets than for people,” says Dr. Carol Osborne, D.V.M., holistic veterinarian in Chagrin Falls.
The developmental age of the child and the situation surrounding the pet’s death are factors for a parent to consider when talking with their child about a pet’s death.
Tell the Truth
The age of the child will determine how he or she understands death.
“Children from 2 years old to 5 years old might not understand the pet is dead,” Osborne says. “Children 8 years old and up, in many cases, do understand that death is irreversible.”
“(Younger) kids can’t wrap their minds around the concept of death,” Knight says. “(Parents) have to explain it in the simplest terms.”
Parents should not hide the reasons why the pet has died or use phrases that might confuse or create fear within the child. Commonly used phrases are “The pet went to sleep” or “We put the pet to sleep” or “The pet went away.”
“Children define death based on their own personal experiences,” says Dr. Margaret Richards, PH.D., A.B.P.P., pediatric psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital.
Osborne says how a parent explains death to a child may frighten them. For instance, if a parent tells a child “Fluffy went to sleep and never woke up again,” she said, “the child might think he or she might never wake up again.”
Richards suggests using terms such as the pet got very sick or the pet died and its breathing or heart stopped. In addition, try not to overwhelm the child with too much medical jargon.
“Be open and honest, “Osborne says. “Explain to the child exactly what happened in basic age-appropriate terms.”
Euthanasia and Pet Loss
The family may have to make the difficult decision to euthanize a pet. This procedure is commonly done when the pet’s quality of life is deteriorating due to illness or injury.
Osborne recommends that parents help the child understand the veterinarian’s involvement and process of the procedure by having a family meeting.
“Include the children in the euthanasia decision,” Osborne says. “Help your child understand why euthanasia is necessary, (for example) the pet is not enjoying life.”
In addition, this will help to answer questions and help them discuss the final goodbyes and memorials.
Richards recommends using phrases such as, “giving a pet a special kind of medicine to take the pain away” or “help the pet to die or stop breathing” rather than “giving the animal a shot, “ which may create fear at the child’s regular immunization visits.
Based on age-appropriateness, give the child a choice if they would like to be present at the scheduled euthanasia. Richards suggests children might have a distorted picture in their head of the actual procedure. Allow the child to ask questions that will clear up any concerns.
Osborne says, if the child is present and wants to say goodbye to the pet once the pet is euthanized, it is important to let them.
“Encourage (the child to) see the pet after he or she has passed. It reinforces reality (of the situation) and removes the mystery and fear of death.”
In addition, Osborne recommends parents, “explain to the children it is OK if they don’t want to be present, it won’t hurt the pet’s feelings.”
Instead, allow the child to express their feelings about the pet and to say the final goodbyes before and after the procedure.
“The most important factors are to be open and honest with age-appropriate explanations and help your child understand why euthanasia is necessary,” Osborne says.
Grief and Aftermath
The common stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The process of grief is different for each person.
“Not everyone goes through the stages and not in order,” Richards says.
The key to helping your child through the grief is to provide open communication. If the child is displaying extreme grief signs, you may want to seek professional help by speaking with a counselor or pediatrician. Richards suggests the warning signs include exhibiting more behavior problems, withdrawal, not processing feelings or excessive crying, making comments about wanting to die or be with the pet.
Osborne recommends letting others in the child’s life know that the pet has died such as teachers or close relatives to help provide support.
Rituals of Goodbye
A part of the healing process is to honor your pet before and after the death. Talk with your children about how they would like to honor their pet. Families can have a funeral or, if you do not have the pet’s remains, a family memorial service at a special place, which allows each member to reflect on memories and feelings regarding the pet’s life and death.
“The family can celebrate the pet’s life by creating a memory box, scrapbook or draw pictures of the favorite memories,” Richards says. “Have a balance of mourning, saying goodbye and also celebrate the positive memories of that pet.”
Angela Gartner is a freelance writer who lives with her family in Northeast Ohio. She is still dealing with the loss of her beloved Scottish Terrier, Jock, who died last July.
Dr. Carol Osborne, D.V.M., Dr. Carol’s Pets & PAWWS, LLC., 953 Bell Road, Chagrin Falls. 440-287-6787, www.carolonpets.com
Dr. Margaret Richards, Ph.D., A.B.P.P., Pediatric Psychologist, 216-445-2450, Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital, 9500 Euclid Ave., Cleveland. www.clevelandclinic.org
View local listings of pet support groups, counselors, cemeteries and crematories at www.pet-loss.net/resources/OH.html
Pet Loss Support Hotline - The Ohio State University Companion Animal Listening Line – 614-292-1823.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: When is it Really a Problem
Non-Medical Causes May Lead to an ADHD Diagnosis
When a child has trouble in school, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is often the first diagnosis considered. Nearly 1 in 10 American boys are on medication to treat this diagnosis. The epidemic-like status of ADHD in the United States requires that we pay good attention to attention. To know what it is. And what it isn’t.
What is attention?
Attention is the ability to bring the working focus of your mind to bear on one task, to the exclusion of others. There are many varieties of attention.
The ability to focus on specific types of information input: what is seen, heard or felt.
The ability to maintain focus sufficiently to complete or execute a task.
The ability to pick the best thing to do next, ignoring that which may not be prudent or productive.
The ability to change focus to a newer, more urgent, more important subject.
What causes a lack of attention?
There are several reasons our children’s minds are under stress to maintain attention:
1. Schools demand more complex cognitive tasks and attentional skills at younger ages. Children may have an hour of complex homework every night.
2. Attention is getting more attention. When a child struggles in school, causes are sought. ADHD is often the first explanation proposed and in many cases, the only one taken seriously.
3. As schools demand more from our children, more children push back, insisting on paying attention to their own playful thoughts and becoming increasingly resentful of the demands of school.
4. There may be a real increase in abnormal attentional function, a trend that is hard to measure and hard to prove.
How much trouble with attention is needed to say there is a true disorder?
If your child has a variety of behaviors that raise concern but is doing well at school and in the family, it may not be time to worry. But if you see your child unhappily struggling or failing in school, or having trouble executing tasks at home, it is likely time for an evaluation.
How do you find out if it is ADHD?
In many ways the problem of attention deficit is very much like fever. Fever is not a diagnosis, just a symptom that can be caused by a huge number of conditions. When you take your child with a fever to the doctor you would be very disappointed if the doctor only told you he or she had a fever, and not the cause of the fever – an ear infection, a virus, or pneumonia, for example – similarly with attention deficit. Trouble paying attention is a symptom, not a diagnosis. ADHD is just one of six possible reasons your child may not be paying attention:
1. emotions: e.g., depression, anxiety
2. cognitive dysfunction: e.g., dyslexia, working memory dysfunction, processing dysfunctions
3. conflicts: e.g., mismatch with teacher, trouble with bullies, strains in the family 4. physical illness: just about any illness can interfere with focus
5. personality: e.g., oppositional defiant or conduct disorders
6. adhd
With the exception of ADHD, all the other causes occur in a child with good attentional function, but whose ability to pay attention has been distracted by the condition.
The standardized questionnaire that asks parents and teachers to rate the severity of various symptoms yields a reliable measure of the person’s opinion about the child’s symptoms and has a place in evaluation, but should never be the only basis for a diagnosis. A very careful evaluation by a pediatric neuropsychologist will measure the child’s attentional function directly and allow for a very reliable evaluation of your child, including an assessment of all six reasons a person could appear to have a deficit of attention.
Attention is one of the most important functions of the brain. Everyone experiences limitations in their powers of attention. How well your child functions at school and at home is a great way to measure how worried to be. If you are concerned, the evaluation of a pediatric neuropsychologist offers the most in-depth approach to finding out exactly what is causing your child to not pay attention. Only by knowing the cause of your child’s attention problems can they be best addressed and managed.
Dr. Arthur Lavin practices at Advanced Pediatrics in Beachwood and has been recognized as a national leader in the approach to the child struggling in school. He will continue his discussion regarding ADHD in future issues including: When is ADHD a problem?, Medications- how they help, how they hurt and nonmedication aids for ADHD.